The Mental Load of Laundry

Laundry is an insufferable, eternal nightmare. Laundry laughs in the face of the concept of ‘inbox zero.’ Anyone fortunate enough to have clothes to wash knows the truth of this burden.

So imagine me locking up for the night a few weeks ago and I noticed an eerie blue glow coming from the laundry room.

Plot twist: my 9 year old wasn't planning a midnight rave in the laundry room - he was actually being... responsible. It was the washing machine set up on a delay timer so the blue display was lit up.

Turns out my 9 year old son had set up his laundry to run 10 hours later. That way, when he was just waking up in the morning, his clothes would be finished cleaning and he would be able to put them in the dryer, thus saving them from sitting wet overnight and saving me from having to switch it for him before I went to bed.

I probably could have wept with pride and joy at having such a capable and thoughtful boy.

To be clear, he grumbles about doing his laundry and says he hates it. He feels some of that burden of never being at inbox zero. But he does it. And that affords me the extra time to play games with him or do puzzles or go sledding.

Laundry is something that we have systematically made both boys responsible for; something that makes perfect sense for them to be in charge of completing since it is their own clothing.

Yes, you read that right, my kids actually think about when their laundry needs to be done without me leaving post-it notes in strategic places or nagging them constantly.

That burden of laundry? It comes with a mental load. Oh, man, if you’re a mom, you know all too well about the mental load. Because not even the biggest post vacation pile of laundry is heavier than the mental load moms carry all the time.

And the most important point to take away here is that they are sharing the mental load with me.

If we split the work in a more equitable way, we all get to share in the spoils of time together during leisure time.

Sometimes I feel that guilt creeping in; burdening my boys with doing laundry feels bad, I know they hate doing it. You’re only a kid once after all.

That’s when I have to remind myself that they are learning responsibility, gaining independence, and they are contributing members of the family. The burden falls solely on my shoulders if I decide to ‘let them just be kids’ like the guilt monster tries to convince me is a good idea.

And they still have plenty of time to play in the yard or do sports or enjoy their precious screen time. They just get to share more of that time with me because we are sharing the load all around.

I know what you're thinking - 'Sure, Melissa, your kids do laundry, but mine would rather wear their clothes inside out than touch the washing machine.' Trust me, this isn't some magical laundry utopia - it's a real, achievable change. And I can show you how to get there. Join my upcoming webinar for the blueprint to make these changes in your home, or let's talk one-on-one about getting your household running more like a well-oiled machine (or at least one where you're not the only one who knows how to use the washing machine).