Surviving the art gallery

Who doesn’t love a good mystery?

My youngest son after our latest trip to NYC, that’s who….

When I was a kid, my mother and my aunt would take my cousins and me on Mystery Rides. We’d hop in my aunt’s wood paneled station wagon and go somewhere fun, but we didn’t know where we were going and what we were doing until we got there. It could be something as simple as getting ice cream at the local Carvel or going on the train to see Cats on Broadway. I loved Mystery Rides!

My husband and I have instituted the Mystery Ride in our family at my insistence. Since my boys were young we have had many a successful mystery ride. The most recent one was a train ride into NYC to visit the MoMA. The boys had never been on a train before and they had never gone to an art museum. Natural history museums? Sure, all the time. Science museums? Definitely.

As a family, we frequent the small local art galleries that pepper the cities we visit on vacation, but this is the big show. This is a whole day of looking at fine art that is regarded as groundbreaking and history making. I studied art at UConn so this was thrilling to me, to enjoy this part of my own history with my children and husband. My kids would get to see Gauguin, Picasso, Monet, even Mapplethorpe; a whole day!

And my youngest son was fighting back the tears at such a prospect. A whole day??

Once he solved the mystery and realized we were going to an art museum, my youngest appeared to be underwhelmed. He announced that art 'isn't really his thing,' alerting us to his discontent at this choice. After we had spent about an hour taking in art, he asked what else we were going to do today. Eat lunch and then spend another couple of hours taking in more art! Swallowing thickly, he looked longingly out at the city through the glass of the MoMA, wishing desperately that we had planned something, anything that he would have enjoyed more.

Such is the dilemma of a Mystery Ride. Do you risk setting your kids up for potential disappointment by assuming they will enjoy the destination? Yep. Do you do it anyway and hope for the best? Also yes.

My husband, ever the prepared Eagle Scout, anticipated this turn of events when we were planning our trip. He anxiously told me that he thought it was a bad idea to have this particular visit be a mystery because they will build it up in their minds and potentially be disappointed when they discover it’s not their favorite activity. I poo pooed him and told him disappointment is a part of life.

Which is true, kids will be disappointed in life. But let me tell you, it was highly unpleasant to have it not only blow up in my face by being supremely unfun for my youngest, but to have my husband be right about it after all. 

There are even more reasons this particular trip missed the mark (but wait, there’s more!), but I am choosing to use it as a teachable moment (or three).

Our kids now know that when we say not to build something up in your mind because it might not deliver the results you thought, they know to heed that warning.

I will remember that one time that my husband was right about something.

And maybe we won’t choose to have events that have the potential to be slightly (or deeply) underwhelming fall into the category of Mystery Rides. Only the best and brightest will be Mystery Rides from here on out.

Or not. I don’t really want to shelter my kids from any and all disappointment. Such is life, full of failures and disappointments. And getting exposed to famous and unique works of art isn’t the worst way to spend a Saturday, even if you’d rather be doing anything else.

I suppose Mystery rides are a lot like motherhood itself - full of unexpected turns, occasional disappointments, and the constant balance between protecting our kids and letting them experience life's realities. Finding joy in that messy journey is something I'm still figuring out myself, even as I help other moms navigate their own paths. 

My son's reaction to Les Demoiselles d'Avignon: "Boy, Picasso really liked to paint naked people..."